I find it somewhat ironic that on this, the eve of my return to psychotherapy, I turned on the television and began watching a show about an anxious little girl who had just left one of her first sessions with a psychologist.

I sought help in making sense of my mental condition, and was dramatically bettered thereafter, in July of 2007. Due to my health insurance dropping the facility at which my psychiatrist worked, I discontinued therapy. Last summer I found a new psychologist. Her professional title indicates that she cannot prescribe medicine, so she was unable to aid me in any concerns regarding my medicinal routine, which turned out to hurt my progress. I was also put off by her office, which was in a house-turned-multi-doctor-office, and all of the gawdy decorations in it. It took my perception of her down enough notches for me not to take her seriously; I never really got much out of our sessions, and I stopped going.

While I don’t feel I’m currently in crisis, I do feel that it would benefit me to go back into therapy. — I think therapy could help ANYONE. I’ve written a research paper on the stigma of psychotherapy and medicine, and gave a speech hoping to change the minds of the more than 75% of my classmates who believed medicine and therapy do not help those who seek it and would not help them. I would like to iterate that psychologists and psychiatrists do not treat ‘CRAZY PEOPLE’ & it is a shame that that stereotype is so prevalent. — I (with the help of my amazingly understanding mother) have been rigorously searching for a new doctor that accepts my insurance since January, and finally found one. My fingers are crossed in hopes that I feel the sorts of positive changes that occurred after my first experiences in therapy two summers ago. Things have changed and I’ve inadvertently allowed myself slip back into old habits and ways of dealing with things (poorly.. unsuccessfully.. choosing to neglect important decisions.. ignorance) but I CAN find the path to happiness that I know exists… and I think this will certainly help. I owe it to THE REST OF MY LIFE to do this and to do whatever it takes to figure out how to live my life fulfillingly, and it starts with the way I treat myself and my conern (or lack thereof) for my present and future.

My appointment is at 6AM. Goodnight.