I am in utter disarray...in without a doubt the biggest fuck-hole I've ever managed to get myself into. I am the only person who understands the seemingly looming magnitude, and only one other person even knows what is going on. I feel like I'm living a lie. I wish I were being over dramatic in saying all of this, but it's really one hell of a pickle. Even if I went to my therapist, I don't think I could talk about it because talking about it would be acknowledging that it's all actually really happening, and I'm too much of a pussy to handle that right now.

This really, really, really sucks, and I cross my fingers (my measly form of prayer) that I make it out of this unscathed, and that no one else has to suffer for me in the process.

I'm trying to do right and make sure my karma is all good, and maybe if you'd put me in your thoughts it'll throw some more positive energy in my direction. I'd appreciate it. :)


  1. i wish i knew what this meant!
    i mean i can't even kind of figure this out.
    TELL ME.

  2. have you told me about this??