i can't log into my bank account to look at how much money i have. so...i don't know how much money i have, and with my spending habits, that's kinda scary. i've already blown through half of my $10,000 loan in less than three months. FUCK. i feel so guilty and irresponsible.
okay. logged in. i'm like..80 dollars away from the $5,000 mark.
i have a second appointment with my new therapist tomorrow. the first appointment went well. i haven't upped my meds yet, so i don't really feel better yet, mentally.
a list of things i've done this week (since my first appointment) that i feel good about (and i refuse to let criticisms make me feel bad about these things making me feel good, dammit!):
- i took out the trash at least three times and refused to let it overflow
- cleaned the bathroom
- cleaned the kitchen
- cleaned my room
- uploaded 100s of photos from my camera
- worked for 10 hours today on extremely late notice
- haven't spent a ton of money (oh, except for $150 at american apparel exactly a week ago....)
- tried to be nice(r) to people
- washed the dishes (mine AND everyone else's) x3!
- decided to stop talking to someone who just isn't right for me
- said goodbye to my dog and am at peace with it, finally
on a final note,
i've set an alarm in my phone for tomorrow morning, upon which i'm hoping i'll have the energy to wake up, get up, get going, and go take a few mile walk or jog (i don't run, remember?) on the track at west campus.